Dharma Talk and Meditation Podcast

Tonight, we'll briefly reflect on your progress this year—specifically in areas like compassion, kindness, generosity, and reducing self-identification. I usually advise against checking your growth too often; spiritual development is better measured over decades than months or years. However, after a year of diligent practice, you might notice increased mindfulness, self-acceptance, and kindness compared to last year. Keep in mind that current moods can distort your perception of progress. The key is to reflect honestly: Did you consistently practice, attend retreats, and take actions supporting your growth?

What was your progress with wisdom, generosity, spirituality, etc?

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This evening, I want to discuss a fundamental lesson from Buddhist meditation: learning to respond thoughtfully rather than simply reacting. I’ll explore this topic with you and aim to offer some practical tools for developing this skill. I believe that understanding how to respond instead of react is an essential aspect of meditation practice and something we continually strive to master.

What’s your first reaction when you stub your toe? What’s the first thing you do? What’s the first thing you say?

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Welcome, everyone. I don’t have a major topic planned for tonight. Instead, as I’ve mentioned before, I’d like to talk about a book that I’ve had for years but recently picked up additional copies of while visiting Sri Lanka last month. This book was originally written in 1901, making it one of the earliest translations of the Pali Canon—the foundational Buddhist texts—first translated from the Sri Lankan language into German in 1901, then later into English around 1907 or 1914.

The book itself is quite simple and small, but it’s been an important companion throughout my decades of Buddhist study and practice. My plan is to go through it with you and offer some commentary. I believe we looked at it together last week. Here’s my new copy; last week I showed you my old orange duct-taped version, which I think I left in my office. So, tonight, we’ll start exploring this book together.

How long have you been interested in Buddhism? How did you find Buddhism? What got you interested?

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Tonight, I'd like to discuss the challenges and suffering that come from being attached to being right, as well as the role of Buddhism and meditation in reducing this ego-driven tendency. Even when our views are correct, attachment causes distress. The Buddha notes that those who haven't meditated—“untrained worldlings”—lack the insight into the impermanent nature of things.

How’s it feel to be right? How do you feel when you’re right? What does if feel like when you’re certain your right but someone else thinks you’re wrong?

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Tonight, I'll be discussing effort and perseverance in the Dharma talk, focusing on the gradual process of awakening that unfolds when we dedicate ourselves to meditation, renunciation, and the cultivation of wisdom. This journey is not a quick fix; rather, it's a slow and steady process that is effective but requires significant effort and long-term commitment.

How much faith do you have in the human ability to free oneself? Does it sound possible? Does it sound impossible? Do you think it’s possible for you? 

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The Buddha’s teachings on the afterlife are unique compared to other traditions. Rather than promising eternal heaven or hell, the Buddha described existence as a process where even suffering in hell is temporary, not everlasting. This perspective rejects both eternalism and nihilism, suggesting an ongoing process—something continues, but not forever. Rebirth and reincarnation are central ideas in Buddhism, though belief in them isn’t required. My role is to share what the Buddha taught, inviting discussion and contemplation without demanding belief. 

Do you think that when you die, it the end of existence? Is there something that continues? Do you think you’d be happy if you had enough money? 

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Tonight I'll be discussing compassion, the challenges that come with it, and the concept of the "near enemy"—feelings that seem like compassion but actually lead to suffering. True compassion alleviates suffering, not causes it. There's a phenomenon called compassion fatigue, often mentioned in service, psychological, or medical fields. If compassion is exhausting you, it's not genuine compassion; it's something pretending to be compassion. Real compassion is soothing and never leaves you tired.

Where is it that you’re finding it difficult to be compassionate? Does being compassionate overwhelm you?

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Tonight, I'll screen share the sutta so we can go through it together, with some commentary from me. We'll focus on the Buddha's words and discuss them as a group, but first, let's meditate.

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Tonight, I’ll be discussing mindfulness, kindness, and non-attachment—three separate but connected topics. Let’s take a moment to reflect on kindness. Consider how it feels when you treat yourself with kindness, meeting your own thoughts, emotions, and sensations warmly. Also, think about what it’s like to genuinely offer kindness to others—not just being polite, but truly feeling warmth and care. This sense of kindness is a central principle in Buddhism, known as loving-kindness, and is important for how we support each other.

What does it feel like to be kind? When is it easy to be kind? When is it most difficult to be kind?

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Tonight, I'll discuss different kinds of love before we meditate together—starting with loving kindness, a universal form, and also exploring romantic and family love. In small groups, connect with people you haven't met and share thoughts about love. After our meditation, I'll elaborate further. Healthy love centers on giving, goodwill, friendliness, acceptance, and generosity. It’s an outward offering, but love often gets mixed with wanting it in return, attachment, and clinging.

What is love? What does love mean to you? Where do you feel it? What is your relationship to it?

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The Buddha taught that each person has a primary personality tendency, which is not clearly explained but could be shaped by childhood conditioning or karmic reincarnation. This tendency aligns with one of three main causes of suffering: greed, hatred, or delusion.

To identify your own tendency, notice your initial reaction when entering a room—whether you focus on things you desire (greed), things you dislike (hatred), or if your perception is clouded (delusion). For example, if your attention immediately goes to items you want, like a Buddha painting or a Motorhead t-shirt, your core tendency may be greed.

Do you have judging eyes? Are you present or spaced out? Do you have wanting eyes? What’s strongest for you: Greed, Hatred or Delusion?

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Tonight, I'm talking about addiction to our minds. The term "addiction" is often used casually—people say they're addicted to things like exercise or meditation. But for those who've experienced substance or process addiction, it's a much deeper issue. My definition of addiction is: it's the repeated habit of satisfying cravings to avoid, change, or control the uncomfortable reality of the present moment.

Are you addicted to your mind? How addicted to your mind are you?

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 I'm gonna talk tonight about, um, sickness, old age, death and karma loss, grief and karma.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Why do you believe or not?

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I'm just going to open the floor for questions, topics, or reflections on anything you're curious about regarding meditation practice, Buddhist teachings, or any aspect of Buddhism that interests you. Tonight, we'll focus on a Q&A format, so take a moment to consider what's truly relevant for you. Asking questions is valuable, but it can also be insightful to pause and reflect on what you want to ask and why—it often reveals something meaningful about your own practice and interests.

What’s it like to introduce yourself to someone you don’t know? Are you up for giving it a try? 

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Tonight, as I mark 37 years of both sobriety and Buddhist practice, I want to share three important lessons Buddhism has taught me. In our small group, take a moment to reflect: What are three things you've learned from Buddhism or meditation? Even if you're new or just curious, consider what insights, if any, have stood out to you on this path.

What are 3 things you’ve learned? What are 3 things you’re hoping to learn?

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Tonight’s Dharma talk focuses on mindfulness of the body—our relationship to our physical form, and the Buddha’s teachings on meditating with an awareness of the body’s impermanence. The Buddha encourages us to recognize the body is subject to aging, sickness, and death, and not to see it as our identity or true self. Instead, the body is a temporary process, always changing.

How’s your relationship to your body? How identified are you to your body? How much do you take your body personally when you’re hurt?

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Tonight, my plan is mostly to do Q&A—to see what’s on your mind, answer any questions you might have about meditation, Buddhism, or any particular teachings, practices, or perspectives that you’re curious about. But before we dive into questions, let’s pause for a moment. I’d like to share some reflections.

Earlier, I was asked to talk about the Buddha’s teaching of the second arrow. This teaching tells us that life often brings its share of pain and difficulty—almost as if we’re shot by an arrow simply by being alive, having a body, a nervous system, and a mind. Painful experiences are inevitable; this is the first arrow, the dukkha, or the first noble truth. It’s unavoidable.

However, much of what the Buddha taught—and the essence of the path toward enlightenment and liberation—is about the second arrow. The second arrow is what we do in response to pain: we add aversion, judgment, fear, or anger. Our reaction to pain becomes another source of suffering, compounding the difficulty of the original experience. The practice, then, is learning not to shoot ourselves with that second arrow.

Why aren’t you completely at peace? Why aren’t you happy all of the time?

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Tonight, I want to explore the theme of dependent origination—how everything is shaped by what came before, how our reactions and choices are influenced by our conditioning, and where karma fits in. So, how much free will do you think we really have? Are we truly in charge of our responses, or do we sometimes feel like we're just reacting out of habit, shaped by past experiences, family, religion, and society? That's the big question for tonight: how much agency do we actually have over our lives, and how much is simply conditioning at work?

How much free will do we actually have? Are you totally in charge of all of your reactions?

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One of the topics I'll discuss tonight is generosity and the Buddhist teachings on the importance of giving, non-attachment, and sharing.

Generosity isn't limited to money—it's also about offering time, energy, and service. Consider: How do you practice generosity in your own life? Do you volunteer somewhere regularly? Do you give a portion of your income to organizations or nonprofits? In some traditions, such as tithing, people commit to giving 10% of their income.

Reflect on whether you allocate a certain percentage of your resources to giving. Do you mentor others, sponsor someone, or offer your skills and help for free, simply out of a desire to serve? Maybe you find fulfillment in volunteering at an animal shelter, a hospice, or offering help wherever it's needed.

Do you give your time to service? Do you donate a portion of your income to a charity? How do you show up to help others?

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Turning Our Difficulties Into Positives

Take a moment to reflect on something from your past that was difficult, unpleasant, or even painful. It might have been truly challenging—perhaps even tragic—but somehow, in time, you ended up benefiting from it. You know those experiences that, while you’re in the thick of them, feel unbearable? Frustrating, painful, filled with loss or hardship. Yet when you look back, you realize that, despite all the difficulty, you grew. You learned something invaluable. Maybe you found sobriety, discovered meditation, started therapy—whatever it was, that hardship became the catalyst for positive change in your life.

What was tragic in your life that you actually benefited from? Something unpleasant or uncomfortable that ended up having a positive effect in your life.

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